If this post is a complete shock to you, which it probably is, then don't be offended. We haven't really told anyone at ALL.
Asher is going to be a BIG brother :)!
We found out back in September. It was a COMPLETE accident, and truthfully a one-hit wonder. We still have no idea how this miraculously happened. After all, I just
I have a LOT of friends/loved ones that are struggling with infertility. Some of them have struggled REALLY badly and for a REALLY long time. If you want to get a glimpse of what this kind of REAL struggle is....check out one of these blogs too. This isn't the typical "we've been 'trying' off and on/birth control on-and-off-again 'infertility' stories. Those women all will eventually get pregnant, once they settle down into a routine and the timing is right.
These are REAL issues with infertility. The kind that cost thousand of dollars, countless hours of time and pain, come with marriage strain, and let's not even address the heartache.They are incredible women, that have changed my life through their strength. You can find one about continued infertility here, and one about a long journey as well, that has now led to adoption, here.
I have really been struggling with guilt for having this baby. There are people that have trials that I cannot even understand or imagine, and somehow, in one magic shot, we are going to be parents again. Two babies; two years. I am currently a little over 4 months along. They will be 1 year apart.
At first, I was in utter shock, and the timing seemed WAY TOO SOON. I almost wanted something bad to happen, just so we could enjoy one baby, and our family of three for a little longer. That is pretty sick, I know, and I feel extremely sad that I felt that way now.
I then came to the realization, that if this baby is supposed to be here. Against the odds, against birth control, and against laws of reasonable conception time/place, then it is definitely meant to be here.
We have had SO many of our own struggles this year, most dealing with financial issues, religous questioning, and family distraught. I know that we are all given our trials and hardships for a reason, and that ultimately we WILL rise as conqueror to them.
I pray my guts out for any of you that are experiencing infertility hardships, similar situations, or just simply want a baby. I wasn't, and don't feel like I'm read for two. But I know that Little Miss Strong is supposed to be here and that somehow, I WILL be ready.
We can't wait to meet her and love on her as much as we have on our little boy already. Ash is going to be such a sweet and great big brother; the one I always wish I had! Little Miss makes her debut June 1 :)
-D
Wow, congrats! You make cute babies, dear, so I'm sure it will all turn out right. And I know what you mean about guilt, we weren't trying and yet somehow had two. But I think everything works out the way it should in the end, and instead of guilt, you should just wrap those little ones up in gratitude.
ReplyDeleteDani - you are so awesome! Just gotta tell you that. Don't feel guilty at all for having this happen to you. As someone who has been struggling with infertility as well (almost a year now) I can tell you that there comes a point where we'll make peace with it and realize that everything happens for a reason. Comparing yourself to other people's situations is the worst thing to do and so please don't feel guilty that it's happened for you again and it doesn't happen for others :) You are such a great person and just remember that everything happens for a reason!
ReplyDeleteYay!! So excited for Romney to have a little girly friend just down the street! Thanks for this post, I needed it today. Helped me remember that even with life's struggles, I have so many enormous blessings, my little family being the biggest.
ReplyDeleteI seriously think you are so incredible. I love that you address it as something that is outside your comfort zone, but Dani you will do incredible!! That is so fun that you already know the gender. I really am so ecstatic for you!!
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