I thought I'd do a post about nursing...because I have a few friends/family that now have babies, or will be.
Did I always plan on nursing my little guy, until he was at least 1? YES.
Do I know that it is definitely the best option, the healthiest, most cost-effective way to feed your child? YES.
Did I find out that sometimes, even situationally, it isn't for everyone? YES.
I quit nursing( it was half and half most of the time anyway) when Ash was 8 weeks old. Although I realized that many people would be aghast at how I could do such a thing...let me tell you why.
Ash absolutely hated it. I had one side that made milk, and one that didn't. The one that didn't would still hurt, and for a long time I thought it did make milk. It didn't. Poor little guy was sucking on a one-sided straw.
My living situation was not conducive to a "nursing" environment. We lived with our in-laws for 3 months, during which time I was 9 months preggo, to Ash being two months old. Although those times were the BEST, because we were able to save so much money and live in the home that we are in now, it made nursing nearly impossible. We had constant visitors, which I LOVED, but also didn't feel like whopping it all out there, in front of...my inlaws and friends. Call me weird? I know some people do, and I completely RESPECT that, because I was a little too proud in that regard. Not to mention, that your girls do NOT look the same during pregnancy or after childbirth, and can frankly be a little frightening to the untrained eye ;)
After I stopped completely, Asher immediately slept throught the night. For the first time, the boy actually had a full stomach! He never spit up again either. He wasn't fussy anymore and finally seemed happy. For us, we found what worked best.
For a while I struggled, because there is SO much pressure to breastfeed, and you feel like a failure if you don't. I want others to know that, hey, if it doesn't work out....WHO CARES!! It is ok! Your child can and probably will be just as healthy, smart, athletic, or whatever you want them to be, as anyone else's kid. You can still bond with your baby and love them, without their mouth attached to you. Don't feel bad.
For those of you, probably most of you, that have nursed....I really look up to you and do feel that for YOU, you made the right decision. It is all about what makes us happy, our kiddo happy, and is best for our familial situation.
I hope next time, that I have a situation and kiddo that definitely make nursing easier. I'd love to be able to with my next child. But I also get now, that it is 100% ok if that is not the case. The only person I need to listen to when raising my little one is ME.
I kind of feel like a creeper, but I found your blog through a friend's. We went to school together but I never really knew you. Anyway. Thank you for posting this! I had my first baby last month and just like you, had every intention of breastfeeding until she was a year old. Long story short, my milk never fully came in so our baby wasn't gaining weight and so our doctor had me start supplementing with formula. After only a couple of weeks I've quit producing anything at all so I'm now solely formula feeding. It seriously devestated me; I've had a really hard time coming to terms with it and the fact that people are so judgmental about not breastfeeding certainly does not help. It was nice to read this and know I'm not the only one in this kind of situation - thank you!
ReplyDeleteDani! Thanks for posting! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that I am not the only person who feels the exact same way. Would have loved to, wanted to, but it just didn't happen for reasons beyond my control. I do think that those that do manage to breastfeed their kids for longer than a month or two are probably actually superman in a costume, especially twins.... Because I sure as heck think that the two months of breastfeeding I WAS able to do was the HARDEST HARDEST HARDEST thing I have ever done. Anyway, It's nice to FINALLY read something giving me permission to feel like a good mother even though the world makes me feel like a failure. You are wonderful! I wish I could come meet your sweet little Ashy baby! LOVE YOU FOREVER!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Who knew you'd still be helping me years after leaving the office. I'm still working on accepting that things don't always go as we plan. So, thank you for helping me see I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteHey Dani. As someone who is still breastfeeding, I take no offense to this. I am able to easily breastfeed and realize that that is a great blessing. I don't judge anyone who decides not to breastfeed or just can't breastfeed. You are awesome for posting this and know that it is YOUR decision. Your family is beautiful. Hope all is well with you!
ReplyDeleteAh I love that you posted this. I had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months for some of the same reasons. I totally am too reserved to breastfeed in public areas. I had such a hard time with that. There are always other chances with other babies I figure. It isn't worth beating yourself up on being the most perfect parent for Asher.
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