Two Years; Two Babies

I am REALLY excited/anxious/embarassed posting this, but just need to. I want to preface this post by saying that I've waited this long to say anything to anyone(beside family), because I was waiting for a good time. But there isn't really, for something like this, is there? It should always be a good time ;)

If this post is a complete shock to you, which it probably is, then don't be offended. We haven't really told anyone at ALL.

Asher is going to be a BIG brother :)!

 We found out back in September. It was a COMPLETE accident, and truthfully a one-hit wonder. We still have no idea how this miraculously happened. After all, I just swore I wasn't having another kid for three years!!! popped out a baby boy, 7 MONTHS ago. At first, I was really upset and really confused. How on earth?!

I have a LOT of friends/loved ones that are struggling with infertility. Some of them have struggled REALLY badly and for a REALLY long time. If you want to get a glimpse of what this kind of REAL struggle is....check out one of these blogs too. This isn't the typical "we've been 'trying' off and on/birth control on-and-off-again 'infertility' stories. Those women all will eventually get pregnant, once they settle down into a routine and the timing is right.

These are REAL issues with infertility. The kind that cost thousand of dollars, countless hours of time and pain, come with marriage strain, and let's not even address the heartache.They are incredible women, that have changed my life through their strength. You can find one about continued infertility here, and one about a long journey as well, that has now led to adoption, here.

I have really been struggling with guilt for having this baby. There are people that have trials that I cannot even understand or imagine, and somehow, in one magic shot, we are going to be parents again. Two babies; two years. I am currently a little over 4 months along. They will be 1 year apart.

At first, I was in utter shock, and the timing seemed WAY TOO SOON. I almost wanted something bad to happen, just so we could enjoy one baby, and our family of three for a little longer. That is pretty sick, I know, and I feel extremely sad that I felt that way now.

I then came to the realization, that if this baby is supposed to be here. Against the odds, against birth control, and against laws of reasonable conception time/place, then it is definitely meant to be here.

We have had SO many of our own struggles this year, most dealing with financial issues, religous questioning, and family distraught. I know that we are all given our trials and hardships for a reason, and that ultimately we WILL rise as conqueror to them.

I pray my guts out for any of you that are experiencing infertility hardships, similar situations, or just simply want a baby. I wasn't, and don't feel like I'm read for two. But I know that Little Miss Strong is supposed to be here and that somehow, I WILL be ready.


We can't wait to meet her and love on her as much as we have on our little boy already. Ash is going to be such a sweet and great big brother; the one I always wish I had! Little Miss makes her debut June 1 :)

-D

Ummm...Don't Do That

Today we had a lovely visitor, Lupe, come to take our vitals, blood/urine, and ask us a million questions about our medical history.

Why? Because we are getting life insurance!! Yay :) Really though, I'm super excited. I think, now that I have a kid, and a house, it's really important to have it. I don't want to put a financial burden on ANYONE should something, unlikely, happy to one or both of us.

She takes our weight/height. She asks us about 50 or so questions. Things are going great. She then takes my blood, puts it in the vials and labels them.

Then she asks for a urine sample and I SWEAR she says "fill it up to here" and points at the very top. I go into the bathroom and somehow manage with everything I have, to fill up that little bottle. I come back out, tiptoeing, because it is so close to spilling everywhere.

Lupe gives me a funny look and takes it over the sink and fills up two TINY vials. Then she asks me to dispose of the rest. It's Ike's turn now and she tells him to just fill it up to the very first line(about an inch) and bring it back. At this point I am mortified.

Please, those of you reading, let this be a lesson. For ANY kind of urinalysis, they only need about an inch of pee. Total. If you walk out with a steamy cup full of it. They probably will think you are crazy too.

Anyway...sorry if this is too gross for you, but I had to share. :D

Family Portraits

Thanks to Hansen Photography for taking our family pictures just a few days ago! I think they did a great job :)

Here are a couple sneak peeks! Stay tuned for more. Message me your address if you'd like a Christmas card from us :)

 

The Boy

Here is the latest and greatest!! This boy is growing up SO fast and I truly feel so blessed to be his mom!

 

 This little dude just learned to ARMY CRAWL! I could not be more proud of him! He has been so frustrated and trying to get places for so long. Now he doesn't have to roll everywhere. :)

 

This is his first time in the swing! Just this last weekend in St. George. He thought it was SO funny to try and kick his daddy in the face as he was swinging. Why do kids think violence is so funny?! He's only 6 months old for heavens sake!

 

This face should make me feel bad, but every time he does it I laugh SO hard. His sad face is just the cutest thing I've ever seen, and I can't help it! This was in response to his dad leaving the room. He loves is dad and gets so excited to see him after work. But if he leaves the room, look out...

 

6 month birthday!! Now he's almost 7 months. (Where does the time go?)

It was too cold to swim when we went to St. George at the end of October. So we swam in the big jetted tub instead. This baby is the happiest one there is. He finds the simplest joy in everything. He's so easy to please. We are sure grateful we got a happy, easy one like him!

And last, but not least, the GREAT PUMPKIN! Because of course, when you are 6 months old, what else should you be? Halloween was fun for us, but he could not handle more than 5 houses. We couldn't either ;)

Puppy Post

These two are expecting!! I couldn't be more proud, nor excited :) Cabela(black) is due to have 8-10 little ones on January 5th. They will be leaving us at Valentines :(

They are the most incredible, smart, loving dogs. I'm so glad that we got them this year. They are my pals during the day while Ike is gone at work, and they make Ash SO happy. He truly loves his dogs!

Even thought they have managed to cause some mischief spur of the moment crisis(es), ie digging out of our yard 4 times, shredding beautiful pet beds, climbing on the roof, etc...they are truly great.

Let us know if you want us to hold a cutie little pup for you or anyone you know :)

Nursing Isn't For Everyone

 

It's been a LONG time! My little boy is now 6 MONTHS OLD. How crazy. It's not as if I'm that busy either....I just have...reality tv to watch more important things to do? :)

I thought I'd do a post about nursing...because I have a few friends/family that now have babies, or will be.

Did I always plan on nursing my little guy, until he was at least 1? YES.

Do I know that it is definitely the best option, the healthiest, most cost-effective way to feed your child? YES.

Did I find out that sometimes, even situationally, it isn't for everyone? YES.

I quit nursing( it was half and half most of the time anyway) when Ash was 8 weeks old. Although I realized that many people would be aghast at how I could do such a thing...let me tell you why.

Ash absolutely hated it. I had one side that made milk, and one that didn't. The one that didn't would still hurt, and for a long time I thought it did make milk. It didn't. Poor little guy was sucking on a one-sided straw.

My living situation was not conducive to a "nursing" environment. We lived with our in-laws for 3 months, during which time I was 9 months preggo, to Ash being two months old. Although those times were the BEST, because we were able to save so much money and live in the home that we are in now, it made nursing nearly impossible. We had constant visitors, which I LOVED, but also didn't feel like whopping it all out there, in front of...my inlaws and friends. Call me weird?  I know some people do, and I completely RESPECT that, because I was a little too proud in that regard. Not to mention, that your girls do NOT look the same during pregnancy or after childbirth, and can frankly be a little frightening to the untrained eye ;)

After I stopped completely, Asher immediately slept throught the night. For the first time, the boy actually had a full stomach! He never spit up again either. He wasn't fussy anymore and finally seemed happy. For us, we found what worked best.

For a while I struggled, because there is SO much pressure to breastfeed, and you feel like a failure if you don't. I want others to know that, hey, if it doesn't work out....WHO CARES!! It is ok! Your child can and probably will be just as healthy, smart, athletic, or whatever you want them to be, as anyone else's kid. You can still bond with your baby and love them, without their mouth attached to you. Don't feel bad.

For those of you, probably most of you, that have nursed....I really look up to you and do feel that for YOU, you made the right decision. It is all about what makes us happy, our kiddo happy, and is best for our familial situation.

I hope next time, that I have a situation and kiddo that definitely make nursing easier. I'd love to be able to with my next child. But I also get now, that it is 100% ok if that is not the case. The only person I need to listen to when raising my little one is ME.

Asher's Newborn Pics

Send a Little Love and Luck Our Way!

Send a few thoughts and prayers our way!

Having a new baby is AWESOME :) It's everything we thought it would be, and more. He is such a joy and delight in our lives. I'm so blessed to be his mommy :) I'm grateful every day to have him.

Something I'm not sooo grateful for. We were told during my whole pregnancy that we had 30 days after his birth date to add him to our insurance or to get him on his own plan. What we we never told, was that we had to be the policy holders for this to be the case :( As such, now we are responsible for ALL of his charges, as if he had no insurance.

Needless to say, now we are in an appeals process to have Ash's charges covered under my insurance, which if I was the policy holder, they should have been. All of my charges were covered(thank goodness!).

If the appeal doesn't go through, we'll be responsible for a few thousand some odd dollars, which is fine, but definitely not ideal when trying to get through school and save for a house.

To my preggo friends....please make sure to to have your baby on his own plan before he's born!! (If you're on your parents' insurance) Otherwise..you may be in similar shoes.

Stay tuned for some cute pics of this baby boy!!!!!

We are PARENTS! Asher's Birth Story

You heard me...we are PARENTS! Oh man. What a feeling! I've never been so in love with life. I have the two sweetest, most incredible boys. I am so blessed. I just wanted to share our special day, May 7th, 2012 with you. If you don't like stories like this....feel free to stop reading now ;) It also is ridiculously long, but I want to have every detail documeted. SORRY! :/

Birth Story:

Ash was due to come on April 30th. With that day soon approaching, I was doing EVERYTHING to try and get him out. I ate tons of pineapple, drank lots of raspberry tea, ate the hottest wings I could stand every other day, jumped on the tramp, went on long walks, jogged, took Evening Primrose oil, and of course had a little fun with the hubby. Nothing worked! He was good and stuck in there. We went to the doctor on May 1st, one day overdue, and still hadn't dilated at all. I have a family history of not dilating, and really didn't want to end up in a C-section. The doctor said that we'd have to wait another week to be induced, since my condition wasn't very favorable. He told us to call on Sunday the 6th to come in to the hospital and get the ball rolling.

The week went by and still there were NO signs of labor. Not even one. Sunday, my family came down and we hung out with them for a couple of hours before heading to the hospital. Ike and I got there at 6:30 and were finally ready to go at 8 PM. I was having a Cytotek induction. This means, they give you a pill every 3 hours that will hopefully dilate you. Most people say that it doesn't work, but can perhaps get you to a 1 or 2 after the 9 or so hours of it. I had the first pill at 8 PM. At 8:30 our nurse, Jessica, came in and said "Are you feeling these?!?". Apparently the contractons were pretty intense...and 4 minutes apart. In 15 MINUTES! I really couldn't feel them badly at all. I'd been having contractions 8 minutes or so apart for the previous week or so, and it didn't feel any different than before.

Isaac went to sleep, and I continued to read my pop culture magazines to pass the time. Every now and then I'd wince with some of the contractions, but they were really short-lived and not too bad. At 3 AM, I woke up in some serious pain. I sat up in bed, shaking violently. I seriously felt sick. It felt like an elephant stepping on my stomach. I asked Ike to help me to the bathroom and he followed me with my IV stand. I started throwing up and kept shaking..I felt like I was going to lose it. Jessica came back in at this point and checked me. I was already at a 5 and progressing quickly. It was looking like I'd have him sometime in the early morning. I never thought I would, but I requested an epidural. With the Cytotek induction, the labor was progressing much too quickly for my totally unready body. I was writhing in pain; it had to be done. The epidural felt like someone just lightly scratched my back; I seriously didn't feel a thing! Within 10 minutes, I felt incredible; what a relief! The contractions were intense and I couldn't feel a thing.

At 6 Monday morning, Jessica came in again and checked me. My water broke everywhere. That was definitely one of the weirdest feelings of my life. It seemed like it wasn't going to let up. **Weird detail**- After all of the fluid leaked out, you could see the outline of Asher in my stomach. I instantly had no belly, and just bulges where his head, back, legs and arms were. She said I was a 9! I coudn't believe it. She brought in all of the necessary delivery equipment. Lot of rags, forceps, and other equipment that I couldn't really tell what it would be used for, and didn't really care. By 7, we had a new nurse, Laurie. She came in and checked me and had really bad news. I was actually only a 5.5 in reality. I'm not sure how we had such a mix-up, but it was definitely a morale killer. My mom arrived at 8 AM, and I was at a stand-still for the next 4 hours. I was still having really intense contractions, but wasn't dilating. Laurie said that she had talked to the doctor, and they were preparing for a C-section. At about 9 AM, I started to feel really, really painful again. REALLY painful. My lower back, pelvis, and stomach were killing me. Laurie had us push the epidural booster button a couple of times, and still there was no relief. My legs were completely numb and I couldn't even move them. However, everything else was in an intense pain. We don't know if the epidural somehow became blocked, kinked, or if Ash's head could have been blocking it as well. Every time I'd have a contraction I would writhe in pain. This continued for the next few hours. I just laid in my bed, sobbing.

My dad and Ike gave me a blessing that things would get better. The pain never subsided, but I did start dilating again. At noon I was checked again and this time, I really was a 9! I felt delirious and Ike said that I kept asking everyone if I really was a 9, or if I had just misheard her. Bill and Stacy, Ike's parents, had just flown in from Israel( a day early...thanks so much you guys!), and arrived at the hospital. I'm sure I looked like a wreck. I was in so much pain, and just a mess. Both of my moms were coaching me through the labor, and making sure that I was breathing with the pain/contractions. At 1 PM, Laurie came back in and asked who I'd like to be there for the delivery. We had just planned on it being Ike and me, and that was still how I wanted it.

Laurie and Ike started coaching me through the pushing. This was worse than anything. There was a mirror, so I could see how the pushing was progressing. For about 20 minutes it felt like there was no change. I could still feel baby Ash up really high in my stomach. During the entire labor process I had been on oxygen about 6 or 7 times, because his heart was dropping and he was beginning to be stressed. After about 30 minutes, I could finally see the top of his head. I had had it. I was in so much pain, so thirsy and kept pushing my epidural boost. Nothing would happen. I told Ike that I couldn't push anymore and that I was going to give up. He talked me through it and told me that I could do it. He told me I had already made it so far, and that this was the last and final part. I started pushing like I had never pushed before. Laurie had me stop and went to get Dr. Dayton. He came in and I had about 4 more pushes. I started to rip and tear, and so I had an episiotomy so the damage would be less severe. I could feel the cutting, but at that point, I knew it would almost be over. I gave one last push and then Dr. Dayton pulled him out. They set him on top of my stomach and he was still all bloody and attached. Ike and I looked at eachother and were shocked.He was OUT! We were seriously parents at this point; there was no way out of it ;). There was meconium, so they had the NICU team right there to check on him and make sure he was ok. Isaac stayed with him while they cleaned and weighed him. Meanwhile, I was getting stitched up. 20 stitches and I was good to go.

They brought in Asher and laid him on my chest. I was so emotional. It was the most incredible feeling that I've ever felt in my life. I had this rush of love just flood my body. I didn't feel any pain anymore, and was on such a high. Ash calmed right down and just laid there with his eyes open. Ike and I just cried and sat there. We couldn't believe he had actually made it ok.

Isaac took him to the nursery and I was wisked off to the mother/baby room. My nurses gave me plenty of water, some medicine, and then I waited for my boys to get back. When they walked in, the first thing Ike said was "Dani....he is SO cute". Seeing that love that Ike had for him right from the get-go still make me want to cry like a baby. It seriously is the most precious thing. He is his dad's little buddy, and they are perfect for eachother.

Now we are all back home and settled in. He is afraid of the dark and sleeps in our bed in his Boppy. It's probably not the best for him, but he's happy and is starting to sleep a little more than an hour or two at a time. Either way, I don't mind getting up with him. He is a dream, and such a little miracle. We were told we wouldn't be able to get pregnant without drugs or treatment, and he came right along. We are so in love! How could we not be, looking at this face every day?

Let's Get You Up to Date!

Sorry to be a no-name lately on the blogsphere! I truly have been really busy...I swear! Ok, ok, and if I'm not busy, I just want to be a pregnant oaf. That's probably mostly the truth. It has been months since I blogged, so I just wanted to get you up-to-speed with our little family :)

Isn't little Macster so cute?! Nope..not ours, but we love our little nephews oh so much :)

Booze cruise! jk ;) These Mexican sunsets were sooo dreamy.

1. For Thanksgiving, we went to MEXICO!! It was my first time to Cabo, and won't be my last :) We had such an incredible time. One of the definite highlights of the trip was swimming with dolphins. It was incredible. We were in a little group of 8, and I was last in line. One of the dolphin trainers asked me if I'd like to help her train while I waited. I got to train a baby dolphin all by myself!! Supervised ;)  Did I mention we were able to see baby turtle hatch?! I even touched them. Do not tell anyone I just said that; pretty sure it could be a felony. They only hatch once per year and are endangered; it was an amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience!
We also took a really long journey to a place called "La Paz"; The Peace. It is known for having beaches/water similar to the Caribbean. True story! It was absolutely beautiful. We stayed an entire week, ate delicious food, slept in, baked our skin to a crisp, and perfected our accents. OH yes, I'm 4 months preggo in these pictures too. I was just grateful to be barely out of my morning sickness phase. It was such a wonderful trip. Thanks to my inlaws, for providing us with such a wonderful opportunity; we are truly blessed/grateful.

2. Happy 1 Year to my Bay-bay! This year, we decided there would be no better/perfect place, than to spend our 1 YEAR Anniversary in Las Vegas. Most people would probably think this is lame. Vegas is special to us. It was our first trip together. It was where we both decided we wanted to get married. Ironic..Vegas??! lol. It was where we went for the last half of our honeymoon, and my most recent birthday. We have so much fun there. Really, we just have fun being together.
We stayed at the Aria. It was incredible! There's nothing quite like a 5-star hotel to get the ball rolling. We went to Benihana, our faaaavorite. Twice. Ike asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else the second night we were there...but I just wanted to go back again! I can never get enough of that place. We saw Michael Jackson: The Immortal, and loved it. It was our first Cirque show, so we didn't know what to expect. It blew us away. Plus, having the music from the King of Pop, tends to help ;)
Ike surprise me when we first got to the hotel with Martinelli's and chocolates. I had no idea. It was so perfect and sweet! Later that night, after dinner, I stepped into a room full of rose petals and hearts on our bed. He also surprised me with the upper band to my ring. I almost cried. When I think about how much I truly love this man, it really gets to me. He is so special to me, and treats me so well. I couldn't ask for more. Here's to forever , as this feeling will NEVER get old. <3

3. Holidays!! They were perfect this year, like usual! Our little baby is already sooo spoiled! He received piles of new clothes, a car seat, and a crib. We are so blessed to have such wonderful families. They take such great care of us. 5 months pregnant and finally feeling like my old self again. I've really appreciated feeling well this year. What a good life lesson :).We were able to spend the holidays with both sides again this year. It truly is nice having family so close!

Stay tuned. I'm sure a few of you would like a pregnancy update, and I must mention Valentines. More to come!

Love you and hope life is treating you so well.

-D